So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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