You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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