He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
