yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
