he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
