I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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