2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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