why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
