I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize