I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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