Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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