i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
