So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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