I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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