69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
i out mim tonsoeep
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
