She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
