How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
