maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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