I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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