i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
