We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
