i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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