they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
