I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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