This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
it's like iHOP with fire
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Randomize
