You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
