her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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