Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
