There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
