Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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