You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
