She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
