:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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