I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
