And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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