I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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