My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I deserve this hangover.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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