Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Still dying that you shit outside
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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