That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
