what if I'm pregnant?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag