I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...