are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.