Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight

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  (847): Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight http://tfl.nu/3mek
  Replies (17) Good night (3169) Bad night (657)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos

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  (914): Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos http://tfl.nu/qe5u
  Replies (33) Good night (2783) Bad night (5058)
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  (786): View more from Florida

  You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.

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  (786): You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager. http://tfl.nu/4g1t
  Replies (3) Good night (2907) Bad night (1147)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.

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  (614): i told you the emergency thong was a good idea. http://tfl.nu/5gc7
  Replies (3) Good night (3228) Bad night (757)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice

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  (240): He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice http://tfl.nu/qhk7
  Replies (3) Good night (2609) Bad night (924)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.

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  (574): I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus. http://tfl.nu/ya8h
  Replies (4) Good night (2397) Bad night (796)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.

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  (252): He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it. http://tfl.nu/4vqb
  Replies (9) Good night (1825) Bad night (619)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.

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  (541): We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash. http://tfl.nu/8hyq
  Replies (1) Good night (837) Bad night (517)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.

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  (506): Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions. http://tfl.nu/8zye
  Replies (4) Good night (1245) Bad night (629)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN

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  (360): WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN http://tfl.nu/hvye
  Replies (12) Good night (1492) Bad night (654)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...

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  (512): I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair... http://tfl.nu/zi5i
  Replies (16) Good night (797) Bad night (1625)
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  (587): View more from Alberta

  The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...

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  (587): The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort... http://tfl.nu/arh5
  Replies (3) Good night (1151) Bad night (397)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Yea we just broke up

  (914): View more from New York

  so do we start sexting now or later?

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  (917): Yea we just broke up (914): so do we start sexting now or later? http://tfl.nu/8x1o
  Replies (12) Good night (1202) Bad night (433)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up

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  (360): Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up http://tfl.nu/7s1p
  Replies (1) Good night (654) Bad night (285)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"

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  (480): After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?" http://tfl.nu/3vzy
  Replies (4) Good night (472) Bad night (191)

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