I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
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Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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