Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Life is so much better after having sex.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
