i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize