he shaved USA in his pubs
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
