it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
