New invention idea: vibrating tampons
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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