Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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