you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
