I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
