And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
