Kiss
Puke
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize