She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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