i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
