Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
