One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
even my farts smell like vagina
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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