All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
