why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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