man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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