I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
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