and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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