She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
