So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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