I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
